my girl

merry merry

tree time!

she's a tall one

bffs

other bffs

santa babies

Christmas is a week away and all is calm. We've seen Santa (twice- cause, why not?), strolled through zoo lights, made Christmas cookies, attended Christmas parties, wrapped presents and read the Grinch. We're ready. While Sydney's first Christmas may be a little underwhelming for her, we're sure excited to bring our new little one into the fold and start our own traditions. And in the wake of the horrible events in CT, I'm feeling blessed beyond measure. It's only been 3 short months that we've had this darling girl in our lives and I can't imagine a day without her. How did Evan and I get so lucky to become her parents? What could we possibly have done to deserve such a happy, beautiful, precious little lady in our lives? My heart swells with love and gratitude. I simply cannot put into words what I feel for her...it's truly indescriblable. Never could I have imagined this.

Now unrelated, we had a big 3 month bday last week! Highlights include:

• Really loving that tongue! She's constantly sticking it out and trying to lick whatever she can with it (pretty sure she learned that from Kirby).
• Smiles, smiles and more smiles. Each day it seems like she's happier than the day before! Just last night we were experiencing some gas issues which prevented a smooth bedtime transition, but instead of fussing, she just wanted to smile and chat! Sure, we'll postpone that bedtime almost 3 hours if it means you just want to hang out smiling (but we'll only concede this once). 
• Speaking of chatting, she's becoming  more and more "talkative." Good Lord, is there anything sweeter than a baby's coo? We have so much girl talk already, I can't wait to hear what she really has to say someday. 
• Tummy time has become more of a successful multi-daily ritual, where Sydney seemingly doesn't mind being on that belly and playing with her friends (toys). She's also gaining more and more neck control and is lifting her head off the floor, when on her back, for seconds at a time. 
• And she dances! Woohoo, does she dance. When's she's on her back, she just kicks those legs and swings those arms, like a member of the Lollipop Guild. 
• We took a massage class last week with some of our PEPs friends and it was pretty good. It's not lost on me how crazy that sounds, a massage class with a baby? But she really responds to it (what girl doesn't) and is a fun bonding time for us each night. Clearly, this mom will do whatever it takes. 
• Quality time with my parents. Sure, she sees them pretty frequently, but they came up on Saturday to watch her while we went to Battle in Seattle- Go ZAGS!!

sleep?

Obviously I want to talk about sleep. Everyone has an opinion! From how long they should be napping, to when to start a schedule, to when to begin night sleep training, there are a million (and that's no exaggeration) different theories. And frankly, I'm overwhelmed. Every time I read a passage from any sleep book, I want to rip my hair out and call the whole thing off. I mean, what was life like before we had so much access to information? How did mothers and fathers do it? Part of me wants to throw away all books and pull myself away from websites and just figure it out on our own, when Sydney is ready. The scheduling stresses my shit out. For example, I attempted to get back on track with our daily schedule yesterday, because our little miss was way off track after the weekend. Well I'm pretty sure she's beginning a growth spurt, so of course, not ideal timing. Now what? Wait it out? Move forward anyways? Let her eat and sleep whenever she wants? And what if the only way to get her to nap is to eat first? Then, oh my God, am I establishing poor sleep associations? Then how will I break them? Will we have a child who refuses to sleep? Will we turn into one of those horrific families seen on Super Nanny? Will we need Joe to come rescue us? See what I mean? It's just too much. 
Thank God for Billy Joel at a time like this. Clearly he was referring to his infant children.

"They will tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange place.
Then they'll tell you you can't sleep with somebody else.
Ah but sooner or later you sleep in your own space.
Either way, it's okay, you wake up with your self."

Thankful

If you've been living under a rock, there has been a trend on Facebook this month where people list something they're thankful for every day of the month. Love the concept, although I'm not that dedicated to have participated, though everyday I made a mental note of what I'm most thankful for. With a year like this, it's not hard to imagine what tops my list, but it's not just Sydney herself. It's the entirely new universe she has created for me. The connectedness of family, the appreciation and respect for Evan, the excitement and anticipation for the future, the newly established traditions and cherishing of old ones. The rose-colored lens through which I'm seeing things for the first time, the absurd growth of my heart and emotions. It's more than I could have expected, and for that, I'm so thankful. Blessed, really. It's hard to imagine it could get better than this, yet I know there's so much more ahead of us. Awesome. Just plain awesome.

So the little miss has experienced her first Thanksgiving, which of course, was spent primarily sleeping through the whole charade (pretty sure the tryptophan had it's way with her) but we sure enjoyed it. As evidenced below, she and cousin Belle were all dolled up and just enjoying being little celebrities. We can't get enough pics of these little beauts. And as if one Thanksgiving wasn't enough, Grandma and Grandpa Soderquist came for the weekend and we were able to celebrate with the other side of the family. Nothing like a little peanut to bring everyone together!

Belle and Grandpa

thankful for daddy

Some highlights of late include:

• This little girl loves to smile! Seriously, sometimes I will put her in her crib for some "down time" and catch her smiling away to herself. Stolen moments like these are my absolute fav.
• It's time for Christmas jammies! And Christmas music, Christmas decorations, Christmas smells, etc, etc. Thank God. I found myself singing the national anthem to Sydney the other day, because, ya know, lullabies take about 4 seconds to sing and then what? So we've needed to change up the sing-a-long repertoire. 
• She's taken the bottle. Whew. I mean, huge whew. The first attempt was a disaster and I was paranoid (surprise surprise) that it meant she would never take the bottle, thus meaning I wouldn't be able to leave her for more than a couple hours and therefore miss out on some social engagements and OH MY GOD the world would then end. But thankfully, she and Dr. Brown (bottle brand for those not privy to bottle brands) have become fast friends. 
• PEPs. Loving my PEPs group and the little outings we've had with the ladies. Pizza, beer, babies and hooter hiders. Perfect way to spend a Thursday afternoon if you ask me. 
• Pedicures. Always.
• Evan and I finally got away for a little bit, just the two of us (thanks auntie Sneaks). I know, I'm embarrassed it's taken so long, but whatever, we did it and that was glorious. So good to sneak away with my main man for a couple hours. 

2 months...really...?

I promise I won't say this every month, but holy moly, time is flying by! Yesterday was miss Sydney's 2 month birthday and it literally feels like I blinked and here we are.
This mama is feeling the effects of sleep deprivation, but mostly because I don't know how to slow down during the day. We're lucky enough to have a good sleeper (or so I think) who only wakes at 1AM and 5AM after going to sleep at 8PM, but the days aren't spent sunbathing or reading on a chaise lounge. Regardless, the lack of sleep is a small sacrifice.

Highlights of late include:

• One 6 hour sleep stretch!
• Mama's night out. Hello bubbly, I've missed thee.
• PEPS. Really enjoying the ladies in my group and the feeling of normalcy that comes with our get togethers.
• Return of Real Housewives of Atlanta and Bev Hills. NeNe, you crazy.
• Return of Zags basketball!
• Yay for bath time. 
• New cozy jammies for the little lady
• Learning what makes my baby coo and smile and doing it all the time! I can't imagine ever getting enough of them. 
• The continual increase in love we're feeling for our Sydney. Evan and I are always remarking that we can't believe how our love for her continues to grow. It's like on The Grinch when his heart keeps growing...How is it possible to love her more? 

Low lights include:

• Me not sleeping during her 6 hour stretch. 
• 2 month appointment and the three shots that were included. Worst. Feeling. Ever. I know it hurt Evan and I more than they hurt her, but good God. So that's what having your heart ripped out feels like. Not a fan.

And now for the goods:

sweet slumber

Yesterday? was like the best day ever. Why? because it was "operation sleep while she sleeps." Eew, I kind of hate that I called it "operation." So everyone says to sleep while the baby sleeps. Which I always thought to be a fabulous idea in theory, but a total joke once attempted. Joke is on me. I got more sleep yesterday than I have during the last 7 weeks and it was glorious. Now let's not get this confused, it wasn't anything near pre-Sydney sleep, but that? Is a thing of the past, something I can't allow myself to think of because, well, it's just too painful to remember those sleep filled days. Those celeb followers out there: have you ever noticed that they are always talking about hanging out in their bed? They hang out with friends, eat, watch TV, etc in bed. This always seemed completely ridiculous to me, because no doubt they have a giant house with amazing furniture and plenty of rooms to entertain in, so why would the bed become the hub? Regardless, I thought I'd give it a shot. After  all, if it works for Chelsea Handler and Kourtney Kardashian, it surely must work for me. But seriously, I literally camped out in our bed all day and only got up to feed the lady, feed myself or move around a bit to prevent bed sores. It was pretty wonderful. Highly recommend, even if you're sans child. 

Highlights of late include:

• Pumpkin Pie milkshakes at Red Mill. O.M.G. do it now. Seriously, you will thank me later.
• Smiles from my darling dear. True "I see mama and love her" smiles! The other morning I was changing her mid slumber and she opened her eyes, saw me and immediately began smiling and cooing. melt. 
• All baby Halloween party. See pics below. Ridiculous.
• Amazon allowing dogs to go to work. Thus Kirby spending some quality time with Evan during the day. Awesome on all fronts.
• Creating a night time routine. Give it up for bath time! My mom said she bathed us every night and it was her most favorite thing and now I shall be adding it to my list of favorite things (along with all things Marc Jacobs, said pumpkin shakes, baking, yoga, lipgloss, etc.) Sydney loves it and it's a great time for the three of us to have some QT
• Continued shopping for the little bee. love. I mean, you're welcome Old Navy (never thought I'd say that). But really, they have the cutest clothes! like this deer sweater?http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?userSearchText=oh+deer&pid=262420012.  Yeah, I know. It's the latest addition to Syndey's wardrobe.
• Homeland. I've boarded the train and it's left the station. While Claire Danes would never make my list of Top 10 Celebrities to play me in a movie of my life, she is legit. Netflix it now. 
• Our first trip back to Starbucks for a meet and greet. It was really great seeing my friends and catch up with them! Although the thought of actually going back to work to, you know, work makes me ill, I find solice in knowing I get to return to those gals. 

mommy and me twins. I swear this is a one time occurrence. (unless of course that deer sweater comes in my size...)

kicking it with Belle

mom, you ain't no anne geddes! now get me out of this pumpkin

okay, it's not so bad

our other bee

1 month (belated)

Our little bee turned 1 month on October 11th and I'm sitting here wondering where in the world time went! Weren't we just leaving the hospital, baby in tow, heading bright eyed into parenthood? Never in my life has a month passed so quickly. Where was this kind of time passage when I was little, anxiously awaiting Christmas, or hell, even graduation from high school? This is where life plays an evil little joke. Those things that you want to quickly move through just drag...and drag...and drag some more. But those that you want to pause and savor every single second seem to just disappear before your eyes. I'll stop there before I wind up sobbing over the keyboard, but really, it ain't cool.
This past month has been a dream. Literally because we've sleep-walked (pretty sure that's not proper grammar, but anyways...) through the entire thing, but also because it's been as wonderful as the best dream one could imagine. I never thought I'd be one of those gushing moms, but at the end of the day, this gig is pretty sweet. Every single aspect of it I love. Who would have thought?  Over the past month, I've loved more than I ever thought possible, stared at one person more than should be legal, changed more diapers than hours I've slept, watched more TV than any doctor would recommend in a lifetime, smiled more than Biden during the VP debate (marmarmar), sang more Tom Petty's "American Girl" than he probably has and been happier than I thought possible. All because of one little lady.
But enough about me! Over the past month we've seen so many changes! She now recognizes our voices and faces and "tracks" us when we're in the room with her. Big milestone, people!  She also is wiggling more and exploring the way her limbs move. She smiles a lot, which those cynical moms say is due to gas, but who cares the reason! A smile is a smile from that little face and we'll take it. I must say, if they are "legit" smiles, she's got a great sense of humor.
She's making more noises, experimenting with sounds and even coos a bit when she seems happy. We're also seeing a lot more of her baby blues and that? Is the best. Being able to look into her eyes and really connect with her is just an incredible experience.
And finally, as noted in her stats above, she's flourishing! A great eater like her mama and daddy, she's eating regularly and growing, growing, growing. Yay for healthy baby, boo for being out of newborn diapers and clothes. And to the next stage we will progress.

1 month and it feels so good:

Yellow jeggings...are you kidding me?

I had a similar reaction to this 1 month milestone

straight exhausted

l.o.v.e.

football schmootball. but daddy is pretty great

hey pumpkin

Oh pumpkin patch, how I love thee. Seriously, this time of the year, there is absolutely nothing better than pumpkins. Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin beer, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin patches, etc. (hopefully you read that with a Bubba Gump accent...if not, re-read). I literally cannot get enough. And that means, Sydney can't either. In fact, her poop is pretty much always orange. Sure, that's a common color for newborn bm's but I'm also convinced it's due to mama's pumpkin addiction. Anyways, back to the story at hand...the pumpkin patch! Saturday the Steppan clan made the trek to Spooner Farms in Orting and had a grand old time. Granted, Sydney was passed out the entire time, but it didn't stop us from using her as the cutest prop you could ask for. See pics.

Showing off her pumpkin pj's

g,g and belle

nice view, mama

belle the pumpkin

laid back

wake me when the photoshoot is over

Cheeks

pause.

Well we are approaching our first month with our precious little lady and life has never been sweeter. Never could I have ever imagined the capacity of love I would feel for this little being. She has completely taken over our lives and hearts! We are still in shock that she's actually ours! Evan was holding her the other day and said to me "I can't believe we don't have to give her back. She's ours!" How lucky did we get? It just melts me.
I can't believe it's already been a month. It all is so clear now when moms have said that time goes by so fast. I get it now, and quite frankly, I don't like it! How I would love to pause this time where we just hang out and snuggle all day. Where I don't need to worry about sleeping schedules or starting bad habits. Where it's completely ok to let her sleep on me all day (I've had numerous books and blogs give me permission that it's ok at this stage). I know there is  so much fun ahead, but it tugs at my heart to think that these days are numbered.
Although I must admit, as she starts to track us with her eyes and smile (I don't care if it's gas) and be more alert throughout the day, it's exciting to think about each milestone that lies ahead.

Of course, we have approximately 5,396 pictures of Sydney at this point, but here are some of my favorites:

First Bath!

loving snuggles with Kirby

Go Griz!!

true love